


I Need You To Help Me Hide a Body

by RBnC



Category: Real life - Fandom
Genre: BWB&G, F/M, Implied Future Cannibalism, Murder, this was mainly just to let off steam about my douche of a father
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2014-05-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 20:46:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1661885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RBnC/pseuds/RBnC
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My dad's a douche and this was to help me let off some steam without actually hurting someone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Need You To Help Me Hide a Body

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ruvy91](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruvy91/gifts).



> So Bad Wolf Bar and Grill is the establishment Ruvy wants to open. It's a fandom place, with sections dedicated to particular fandoms.

It’s a cold, rainy night in Seattle, Washington when the owner of Bad Wolf Bar and Grill is woken from her sleep by frantic knocking on her door. Getting up isn’t hard, considering she hadn’t fallen asleep completely yet, but she loathes getting out of her warm King size bed where Karm, her boyfriend, snores on in blissful ignorance. Curly auburn hair sticks up in every direction as she pulls on her robe and makes her way downstairs.

As she’s shuffling about, she grabs her baseball bat and makes her way to the door to their home, which sits on top of Bad Wolf Bar and Grill. Looking out the peep hole, Ruvy sighs in exasperation when she recognizes the woman fidgeting outside. Shoulders sagging, the older woman unlocks and yanks her door open to glare at Velvetine; long-time friend and part-time waitress at BWB&G.

Before any violent words can be exchanged, Velvetine is blurting out, “I need you to help me hide a body.”

There’s a long string of silence as the soaking wet woman’s words sink in.

“What?”

“I need you to help me hide a body. It was…It got carried away…he wasn’t supposed to **_die_** , I swear!” The darker haired woman franticly gestures at nothing as she carries on.

“Where is it?” Ruvy sighs, leaning against the door frame.

Velvet stops for a bit before mimicking, “What?”

“The body, where is it?”

“The bed of my truck. You’re okay with helping me?”

“If you didn’t think I’d help, why did you come to me and ask?”

“That’s a good question. This could have easily backfired on me.”

“It could have. Pull your truck around the back. We’ll hide the body in the freezer until we figure out where to go from there.”

The owner sighs as her friend races off to move her truck which holds a dead body. The auburn hared woman sighs and wonders where her life went wrong as she makes her way downstairs and unlocks the back door.

She’s unlocking and opening the door to the freezer when Velvet comes in with a large bundle thrown over her shoulder. Inside, she lets it roll off her shoulder to thump on the floor.

“Exactly what happened?” Ruvy asks as they make their way out of the freezer.

“Well,” Velvet grins, looking sheepish, “It was really stupid, but um…they were bad talking this girl I was with and we go into a fight and one thing led to another and next thing I know I’m beating his face in…with a pipe?”

Ruvy just stares at her friend as she locks the freezer.

“I told you, it got carried away.”

“So what are we going to do about this?”

Laughing, Velvet suggests, “You could make the Hannibal section of your menu more realistic,” as a joke.

“I could.” Ruvy hums in thought.

“What, no. No, you can’t do that.”

“So cannibalism isn’t okay, but murder is?”

“It was an accident!”

“Still happened.”

“What still happened?” Karm asks, sleepily shuffling through to the kitchen where they are.

“I got into a fight.”

“And murdered someone.” Ruvy comments.

“What?” He asks, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

“Is there like an echo in here?” Ruvy asks, making her way back to the freezer and opening it.

Karm leans in and stares at the body for a few second before asking, “So how are you gonna get rid of it?”

“Why are you two so okay with this?”

The couple just shrugs before Karm repeats his question.

“Velvet suggested giving the Hannibal section of our menu some authenticity.”

“That could work, but what are you going to do about the bones and other stuff?”

“That stuff’s easy to get rid of.” Ruvy comments casually.

“Am I the only one here not okay with cannibalism?”

“It’s not like we’re going to be the ones to eat it. And if they’re ordering something that sounds cannibalistic, they should expect it.”

“Yeah, okay…makes some form of sense, but…” Velvet lets her sentence drop as she looks into the freezer with a worried expression.

“Wait. I thought you were spending time with your dad when he dropped by unannounced for a visit.”

Velvet smiles a meek smile and shrugs, rocking her body to the side, as she drags out the word, “Yeah.”

There’s a collective silence before Ruvy almost yells, “Is that your father??”

Velvet just looks to the floor in shame.

Karm sighs and asks, “That old hachet of yours, is it still in the garage?”

Ruvy mimics her boyfriend and nods.

Karm leaves, giving the two women some privacy.

“So he’s just…chill with me waltzing in here with a dead body asking for help hiding it?”

“Yeah.”

“Has this happened before?”

“Nope.”

“Don’t lose him.”

“Oh, I don’t plan on it.”

**Author's Note:**

> I should say; I do not endorse violence, murder, or cannibalism.


End file.
